November 4th, 2009
Flirting with Disaster
Recently, the lingering sugar buzz from Halloween met with the anticipated sugar buzz from the up-coming holiday season. Mixing with a cold front of a series of sleepless nights and lack of oxygen to the brain due to allergies, they created what I like to call “a perfect rock ‘n roll storm.” Which is of course to say…I found myself wanting to become a musician. No, not a musician—I wanted to become a rock star.
Now, it should be noted that I am currently in possession of an extremely limited amount of musical knowledge. Early childhood piano and voice lessons didn’t take. An adolescent obsession with the cello petered out as soon as I discovered the audiovisual club. A college dalliance with the guitar turned out to be just that—and as anyone who has played Rock Band with me can tell you, I don’t exactly have a future in hitting things with sticks. I do have a knack for words and the ability to carry a tune just well enough to not embarrass myself at birthday-related gatherings. But ask me to describe anything with the brevity required of a song lyric, and you’re likely to find yourself at the business of an ill-timed drumbeat.
Of course, this affliction is nothing new. We all want to be rock stars—leaving our day jobs behind, taking to the open road (Hey, I’ve read Kerouac!), achieving the modern equivalent of running away to join the circus. And yet, we continually forget that these “circus freaks” are people who have worked insanely hard, gotten insanely lucky, and—more often than not—are just a bit insane.
The truth is, musicians are simply a different race of people. My ambitions fade as soon as I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep or stop binging on half-priced Halloween candy. Their ambition may burn for days, weeks, or even years! I’ve been known to shed a tear at a particularly moving piece of music. They can identify the building blocks that manifest Morrissey’s angst. Then again, while their lack of social graces can be attributed to one too many nights in the garage, practicing until their fingers bleed, mine…well—.I’ll get back to you on that.
And yet there’s still a deep seeded ache. The Internet is wild! The time for discovery is now! The castle has been stormed, the gatekeepers have usurped, and the Garage band Software is on sale!!!
Heck, when one considers the stories we’ll tell future generations, the need intensifies. You’re not just doing this for yourself, you’re doing it to inspire future generations! In that light pawning one’s laptop for a ukulele, and booking a one-way ticket to Toronto isn’t just doable, it’s downright reasonable! I’m pretty sure I heard something about Kevin Drew prepping the next Broken Social Scene album…
…I’m also pretty sure the bag next to me used to contain mini-Snickers. Time for a lay down…
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